Dear John

Has anyone seen the movie "Dear John"? It was a good movie, ending sucks but it made me cry, laugh and lust, The guy was hot!!!! Anyways that is not why I am promoting this movie. It has Autism as one of the main subjects, the old and young. Go see it!

music

Fog

You know when your driving early on a cold foggy morning. You squint your eyes to stay focused and your fingers are cold. You may use fog lights or the defrost but you still can't see. I have felt like this for a while. I am walking and talking and doing my job but Im disconnected. Not depressed or psychotic just at arms legnth with my emotions, people and most painfully , God. Why do we shut out the ones we love the most? Why can't talk to the Father when it so easy, I feel nothing. We are hosting the senior girls for D- Now (deciple now) weekend and the message tonight was on loving ourselves. Why? Because we were created in His image, because He knew us before we were in our mothers womb, because we were fearfuly and wonderfully made. It was just the kick in the hiney I needed. God makes us all different for reasons we do not understand, or want. Thank you God for my uniqueness. If I was perfect, if I was content I would not need you.

Lucky in Love

I have some great men in life. My dad who is the best dad ever. He drove me to TN even though he had a busy day at work and needed to stay. He is also the best Grandpa to my boys. My Pop, is so great. He let me live with him while I was in college, and always encouraged me when I thought I couldn't do things. He loved my Nana well and prayed with her everyday. Then there is my husband David. We have been through a lot, he gets frustrated with me and I him but the cool thing is he makes me a better person. He wants the best for me and reins me in when I dream big (with my emotions). God couldn't have picked a better man for me. He loves crestridge like I do and understands a world many men do not. He is the best thing in my life. I saved the best for last. God IS the man. I am in love with him and he sustains me through times of anger, joy, unfeeling, confusion and loss of dreams I don't understand. I am lucky in love. many different love many different ages, but all a blessing on this valentines weekend.

Change

So many things have changed in the last several months, My Nana died of cancer, Dr. Coppenger died at 100 years of age, Coleman started his growth hormones, I started keeping little Jessi after school, I got a dog and a cat we basically adopted a teenage boy Connor and so much else. I have had to adjust to so much, but I have been blessed 10 fold. My cup runneth over... God has given me so much to give myself too and so many people to love I feel joyful

Pop talks but Nana doesn't

Carter celebrated 100 days of school today. They had to dress up like a 100 year old man/woman. He wore a collard shirt, khakis, a tie and an old man hat. When he got out of the car this morning he told one of his teachers, he was Dr. Coppenger (my Pops friend who turned 100 a few months ago) and he needed 3 cakes . So cute.

When he got home today he sat in my lap and said "Pop talks but Nana doen't." He had tears in his eyes and a questioning look on his face. He asked why nana didn't talk anymore and if she had any hair. I told him Nana was in heaven now and she was happy. We talked and cried together, remembering times we shared with her. I told him that Nana loved him and me more than we'll ever know. She prayed for us on Tuesdays, she loved gummy bears. Scotcharoos, she loved Purple she adored Pop, she never tired of kids being around. I lived with her in college and remember she always needed a fire going, she could tell a story from her past with perfection and I never questioned her passion or love for God. She opened her home to more people in her lifetime than can be remembered. She cooked for people and her pool was never empty in the summer. Carter said he missed her and he wanted to go into the clouds to see her. All I could say was someday we will see her again because God loves us and God loves Nana

Eye Lashes

I have beautiful, thick, long eyelashes. Or I should say...had them.
I had a horrible migrain on saturday and took some tylenol pm and some ambien so I could sleep. When sleep I did. I guilted my dad into visiting me the next day?
I wore some appauling lingurie for David?
Then I was putting on my makeup for church when I realised that my eyelashes on mu left eye were cut, knobby, chopped. Gone!!
No more ambien for me